Endings  13.09.16

23 degrees. walking back at 7.45 pm and its 23 degrees, it feels pleasant but im glad i didnt discover this digital thermometer until a couple of days ago, i might have complained even more about the heat!

I have paid for a pint, the same chicken and mushroom pasta i had on my first night here but also ordered a small salad to go with it. I have 60p left. Do i bring it home for Poppy and Edward to play with in the toy till or leave it for the staff? Tough call. But perfectly judged from a financial point of view. Theres now just the nine pounds in Danish money to spend at the airport in the morning. I can manage that.
There are many photos i might have taken and havent, perhaps many missed experiences i would have liked but i cannot think of any in this moment. Other than meeting people of course. 
I paid premium for helpx today, i had forgotten quite why i preferred workaway but i now have paid up accounts for both and discover helpx to be more like wwooffing, more farm and building type work. Less likely to engage me, more hard physical graft that i cant do these days. Theres a travel companion side to it though but glancing in, after paying my subs, its not very active and 98% under 25s.
9.30 and time for bed. All packed. Alarm set for 6.45. Wondering if i really have my aeroplane ticket and if i really have checked in. Its so bizarre doing it by mobile and with no internet now i just have to trust i got it right. Phone battery dead, ipad 15%, power pack dead. Phone on charge, ipad waiting as soon as phone is charged, battery pack can wait til im at jans tomorrow, i wont need it til my late train home on thursday night. Bugger, house key is buried deep in bowels of backpack where its been safely locked away for months, i dug out english cash but forgot my key. It can wait, phone at 76% can also wait. Ipad on charge, earplugs in.
I wake and i dont want to be awake but give in and look at the time. It is 1.35 am. I feel as though there is somebody, some presence, i feel uneasy, try to drift back to sleep. My earplugs give me a sense of unease but it is essential i wear them here. I must sleep but am so unused to needing an alarm that my body does not want me to use it, says stay awake now.
I suddenly remember i should have printed my airline ticket and have not done so. I remember atlantic airways efficiency and text reminders about flights. And then i groan and realise its ryan air and i will surely pay for not printing my ticket. Yet i checked yesterday and it is in my ‘wallet’ on my phone. If in my wallet it surely does not need printing. I need to check.

I am flying with easyjet. I am checked in and my boarding pass is in my wallet. Whats more, having planned to be at the airport two hours early i need check my luggage in only forty minutes before flying time. Further more, i had allowed time for the wretched passpost border control but in fact it is a swift twenty minute train joirney to the airport, not the forty minutes into Copenhagen itself. My alarm will wake me way earlier than i need but i leave it.

I remember It was my potential change of plan, to fly from Gothenburg that would have been with Ryanair and would have neccessitated printing my ticket. My train ticket back from london needs printing. Having made the date error by purchasing on my phone, this time i bought on my ipad only then to discover that i cannot get my ticket in my phone but must print it at a station. Travel can become complicated. Satisfied that all is in place I leave my writing and drift back to sleep. It is three am.

I wake from a dream where i think i am being prepared for sacrifice. I am with Sikhs and being perfumed and cosssetted. I feel very privileged to be allowed to witness this religous ceremony. There is a halt in the ceremony, i am unsure what for but the reality of my situation begins to dawn. Why would a non sikh be allowed into a prestigious ceremony, why am i being treated as i am, as the most important person here. Taking advantage of the halt in proceedings i ask for the loo and post on FB, i think im about to be sacrificed, post my phone number and ask for help. I message Rebecka, in Sweden asking her to get the police here. I then go into one of those loops where i have so many different endings or non endings. I dont die in any though, tie sheets and hang out a window, climb onto rooves, just walk out, many endings. The best is where the police phone me and i make my eacape before they push their way in to arrest everybody. Large sharp knives are lying ready. 
I feel so uneasy and unsafe with my earplugs in i remove them, it is 4am and traffic is quiet at last. I drift to sleep again. I still wake early at 5.30 and this time do not bother to go back to sleep but make a coffee and get up. My host was not sleeping at home last night. I have not known any night whether she is home or not and this is slightly disorienting but i have learned that if not home by ten she will not be home. 

As i am early, I unearth my key from my pack and then repack it. I am ready in good time, have a second coffee, heft my rucksack to my shoulder and hear a noise. It is my host. She did come home last night aft all. Hence the reason for my poor sleep. My subconcscious heard her but did not expect any one to be in the flat.

Taking the last advantage of the wifi at Malmo station, heading for the train and the plane. 

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